


5:11 am

by je_oh_no



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: I was gonna tag friends to lovers but it's more like 'it's complicated' to lovers, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, just read it im so sorry, kinda???, this is my 3rd fic and i still cant tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 09:04:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19460785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/je_oh_no/pseuds/je_oh_no
Summary: Sicheng will never admit it.The bare touches burn his skin.The thin fingers closed around his waist making him uneasy.The soft breathes grazing his neck keep him awake.Jaehyun makes him sleepless. In a good and bad way.





	5:11 am

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm very excited cause this is my first jaewin fic finished and posted! I will say I usually have someone proofread besides myself but I didn't get the chance with this one so please excuse any of my grammar and punctuation;;;; despite that I hope it's still understandable! lol fun fact, I started this fic months ago, one night at 5:11 am. hehe anyway enjoy! uwu

_5:11 am_

Sicheng will never admit it.  
The bare touches burn his skin.  
The thin fingers closed around his waist making him uneasy.  
The soft breathes grazing his neck keep him awake.  
Jaehyun makes him sleepless. In a good and bad way.

If Sicheng could describe Jaehyun in one word, he would say: bright.  
As in that, Jaehyun was absolutely blinding. It's if he were blessed by the gods when given his good looks. Deep dimples, strong jaw, soft eyes, flawless lips that were oh so pretty and pink. Might he add plump, sensitive and fit perfectly slotted in between his own, on so many occasions. If Sicheng could put into words the way he felt when he first laid his eyes on Jaehyun, he'd say it'd be pretty close to the sense of pain. To gaze at someone so beautiful from afar, physically pained him. He remembers the months he craved for a taste of that beauty. So close yet so out of reach. It's almost as if his entire being were a dream.

Sicheng’s breath hitches at Jaehyun shifting in his sleep, snuggling his face closer into the back of his neck.  
His lips.  
He feels them brushing against his skin.  
He's gonna absolutely lose his mind.

How did they become like this.  
Sicheng was never one to stand so close to someone so bright. Dark clothes fitted alongside grim expressions somewhat help keep people wary and out. Sicheng thinks it's funny. That people leave him unbothered because he acts and dresses as if everyday he's going to a funeral. It's stupid his looks keep him far off from others, but he likes it. That is until someone pesters enough to look past those pieces on the outside and bores their way into what's really going on inside. Sicheng hates when people do that.

But he's thankful he let Jaehyun do that.

He stiffens when he feels Jaehyun's hands make his way up from his hips to his chest. Jaehyun mumbles something in a hoarse voice, pressing their bodies closer together.  
Sicheng wants to listen to that sound on repeat in his head over and over again. _God_ , he's so in love and it scares him shitless.

Sicheng doesn't know why his heart and mind decide on keeping him this busy at the ass crack of dawn. _Fuck_ , he blames the man sleeping so soundly next to him. He always does this. Sicheng just wishes his heart could do this at more reasonable times. Like when he's in class bored out of his mind rather than invading his sleep to make his insides feel like their bound to implode from warm feelings.

"Fuck my life." He sputters out under his breath.

Sicheng tenses when he feels the warm body next to him shift. The arms that once enveloped him slowly slip away from his torso and he feels the bed slightly dip.

"Sicheng?" 

The pale light shining through his window casts a shadow over Jaehyun as he sits up. Sicheng doesn't face Jaehyun but his eyes trace the silhouette of the bare figure projecting onto his wall. He's too anxious right now to look at him, not while his heart hasn't calmed down just yet.

"I know you're awake, Sicheng. I could feel you shaking and your heart rate." 

Sicheng curses his anxiety and the light sleeper Jaehyun is. 

"Sorry" Sicheng sounds more shaken up than he thought. "I didn't mean to wake you..."

There's a brief silence before Jaehyun sighs. "That's not what I meant."

Sicheng can feel Jaehyun playing with the sheets. He sees his head lean up to look at the ceiling. "You know you can talk to me."

"I know" Sicheng mutters.

"Then, what's wrong."

Sicheng doesn't know how to answer that. What does he even say. Like _'Hey, you make me anxious and uneasy because I feel like you're a dream and that one day I'm gonna wake up and you're gonna disappear. That you're going to leave me like all the things we've done never happened. That, what we are isn't the same to you as how I see it. That I'm falling in love when I shouldn't be. That all this isn't real. That I'm a complete-'_

"Sicheng, did you hear me."

"What?" Sicheng coming back into reality blurts out.

"Can you please look at me." Jaehyun places a hand on Sicheng's arm.

Sicheng is reluctant but he sits. He adjusts himself to face the direction of the other man, but he's more so staring at the sheets in his lap. The white sheets are bunched and dimly lit by the rising daylight, shades of blue and purple.

"Sicheng." A hand comes to cup one side of his cheek and guides his head upward. His eyes are now filled with the sight of the beautiful boy in front of him. The right side of Jaehyun's face is enveloped in light while the other half hides in the lack of it. His purple hair tousled from bed still looks beautifully arranged and shines like silver when illuminated just right. It's puffy and pink under his eyes and cheeks but Sicheng thinks the color compliments the contrasting shimmer his hair gives off. He's looks like absolute heaven, _Sicheng's heaven_ for a matter of fact. 

"You can talk to me baby." Jaehyun soothes Sicheng. 

He shivers at the sound of endearment in his voice, not because he doesn't like it. It's more of that he doesn't know how to feel about it.

"It's nothing. Seriously." Sicheng smiles weakly. "You know I get like this…"

The other male smiles sadly.

Jaehyun scoots closer to the Chinese to reach out and cup his cheeks fully. Their knees knock slightly since they're both sitting cross legged on the bed. Once Sicheng sees Jaehyun leaning in, he spreads out his legs to make more room for the other to close the distance. Jaehyun moves himself in the new space and presses his lips softly onto Sicheng's own. The purple hair boy doesn't initially linger long but Sicheng presses again when Jaehyun tries to lean away. 

He doesn't mind the slightly groggy movements, or maybe the way his actions are moving faster than his mind as he pulls Jaehyun in for more. Sicheng is probably being a little too rough for something like early morning kisses but he desperately needs this.

When Sicheng presses harshly Jaehyun sighs into the other's lips. Sicheng can feels Jaehyun's tired movements, that are slower and uncoordinated but he thinks they're cute. Compared to a wide awake Jaehyun who usually leads these kisses, he's now instead blissfully melting into Sicheng's forceful touches.

The black haired male sucks and bites on the other's bottom lip, to then slip his tongue into Jaehyun's mouth after. Jaehyun reacts with little sounds escaping and unsteady breathes. He licks back into the others mouth, pressing hard, trying to give back the same tough movements. Sicheng ends up finds his hands reaching to grip at purple scalp, tugging and combing his fingers through.

Sicheng is so lost in the warm taste, heavy breathes and the intoxicatingly sweet peach citrus smells of Jaehyun that he can't hold himself back. 

Sicheng only catches himself off guard when _'I'm so in love with you.'_ slips out of his own lips.

He instinctively stops kissing and pulls away to stare at the other, who looks dumbfounded and confused. Jaehyun's brow furrow, looking down and then back at Sicheng. 

He wasn't supposed to admit that. Not yet at least. Maybe when he and Jaehyun graduated so he didn't have anymore real excuses to see him again. Or when Jaehyun finally found someone he really wanted to be with. Then he could have told him he "had" feelings, laugh it off and never have to deal with the topic again. He's not supposed to have done it like this. This isn't ideal, it's probably the opposite of that.

'Shit, I didn't just say-'

"You love me?"

He feels panic start and fill him to the brim. "I- no wait."

Jaehyun's face darkens. "No?" 

"Jae- that was a mistake."

"A mistake?" he sours.

"No! Wait, no!" Sicheng is visibly shaking. "You're not a mistake!"

The Korean looks slightly broken but reaches his hand out to hold the other's. "Sicheng it's fine, calm down." 

Sicheng hates that his stomach is eating him alive, he's starting to shake uncontrollably and he feels the tears welling up in his eyes. It feels like he's going to burst any minute. He can't look at Jaehyun right now, not when he's fucked up like this.

"I… I don't know"

He's crying, it's all over his cheeks, warm and wet, covered in tears. 

Jaehyun sighs pulling at Sicheng to come closer. He wraps arms around him, petting his head along with little whispers of _'its okay'_ and _'you're fine'_. Sicheng cries harder but Jaehyun never stops comforting him. 

When the sobs aren't as violent and Sicheng’s shaking is gone down to a minimal Jaehyun pulls away to grab tissues at their bedside table. He wipes his cheeks, and places the back of his hand to Sicheng's bare chest to feel his heart beats. It's a habit of Jaehyun's when he can see Sicheng's anxiety spike but it tends to calm the other down as well, so he does it. 

He presses a peck onto the now finished crying boy's cheeks and smiles. "Are you okay, do you wanna talk about it now?"

He sits muted for a minute before he answers with a nod before and starting. "I'm okay." 

He's playing with his finger's staring at Jaehyun's shoulder rather than his eyes. "I'm scared you'll leave me."

Jaehyun stares sadly. "Sicheng…"

He breathes in. "I just don't want to be attached to you if you don't want this." He starts tearing up again and his voice breaks. "shit, I didn't even ask you what you wanted from this."

He doesn't let Jaehyun speak and keeps going. "I don't know what to do with myself, I can't stop myself from feeling like this about you I-"

"Then don't." He interrupts the other. "I didn't say stop loving me."

Sicheng peers at the other confused. "What."

"Sicheng, did you ever stop to think that maybe, I love you too." He smiles, grabbing once again at the other's hand but this time intertwining it with his own. "Do you really think I would do all this for someone I don't love."

"Wait you-" Sicheng bites at his bottom lip nervously. "you really do?"

Jaehyun laughs. "Holy shit, Sicheng. I worry about you everyday, I call you on nights we're not together cause I wanna hear you, and I come over as often as I do because I miss you." Jaehyun tilts his head at him. "What? Did you really think all this to me was just constant hook ups or something."

Sicheng's mouth goes into a thin line as Jaehyun slightly giggles at the thought. "I really couldn't tell!"

He's still chuckling at Sicheng thinking about it. "Seriously, I don't text you everyday to make sure your okay and cook you half your meals just to get good sex out of you."

"Hey! You're making fun of me at this point." Sicheng whines.

"Yea a little." Jaehyun beams before quickly kissing Sicheng on the lips once again.

They both break into heartfelt laughter at the confusion, now so easily solved. 

Sicheng doesn’t notices how much time has past till now. He sees the sun has risen to display warm yellows mixed in with light blues, shining into his room. Since the snickers have died down it's quiet and Sicheng feels his heart finally light and at peace again.

"Hey, Sicheng." Jaehyun breaks the silence first.

"Yeah?" He questions.

"I love you" 

He blinks to the sudden words.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

Sicheng smiles weakly. "It's fine, Jaehyun."

"No, it's not." He frowns. "I never want you to think this is one sided or you aren't worth the time."

Sicheng's checks redden. "Jae…"

He looks him directly in the eyes with a soft expression. "Look, I know I took long to say it but if you'll let me-" Jaehyun presses his forehead to Sicheng's. "I'll tell you I love you, everyday so you don't have to wonder if I do anymore."

Sicheng feels his heart swell and a toothy grin forms on his lips. "Is that a promise?"

Jaehyun giggles melding his lips into Sicheng's. "It's a promise."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading till the end!! I usually draw pieces alongside my writing so look out for that later unu
> 
> If you wanna find me here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/je_oh_no) and [cc](https://curiouscat.me/je_oh_no)


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